Stuff I Like: Jurassic Park

I do a lot of complaining on this blog. And as much as I enjoy ripping into Eragon, it can get a little tiring to write only about stuff I hate. So I’d like to take a break from my irregularly-scheduled ranting about terribly-written fantasy to gush incoherently about how fucking awesome Jurassic Park is. (As you might imagine, I just came back from seeing Jurassic Park in 3D, and let me tell you it was worth every penny. I don’t care if it’s an obvious ploy for money. I gladly forked over my hard-earned cash; hell, I’d consider giving up my first-born child for this. If they ever do a 3D version of the live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, my future kids are going to be in trouble.)

It’s difficult to express just how much Jurassic Park means to me, especially when it rests secure in the category of beloved nostalgia. It was my #1 go-to movie when I was a kid. I watched it so often the tape started to wear out. I watched it so often I’m amused when other people are startled by the jump scares. I think I might actually be able to quote it line-for-line. My dad and I had this little routine where he would say “Clever girl” and I would snarl and pretend to eat him – you know, typical father-daughter stuff. I can safely say that it’s my favorite movie of all time, and will probably stay in that spot for the foreseeable future, if not forever. I can’t single out any one element that makes it good – the story, the characters, the actors, the music, the effects, all of it just combines into this glorious, wondrous experience for me.

I even love the sequels. I know, I know, they aren’t nearly as good, but I just can’t help myself. It doesn’t help that my brain immediately reverts to being a child and overrides all thoughts like “That enclosure’s pretty small for what was originally supposed to be eight raptors” or “Why didn’t they just move to the other side of the tree and let the car fall past them?” or “How did the T-rex manage to sneak up on them when every other time you could hear/feel it coming well in advance?” with “AW YEAH DINOSAWRS!”

Fun fact: did you know that the velociraptors were actually guys in rubber suits? (The relevant item on the list is #1, but the rest are pretty awesome too.) How fucking awesome is that?!

I’m just going to leave you all with this exchange from the movie, which has me pretty convinced that I’m married to Dr. Grant (and really surprised that there isn’t a clip of this on youTube):

Dr. Alan Grant: Kids! You want to have one of those?

Dr. Ellie Sattler: I don’t want that kid, but a breed of child Dr. Grant could be intriguing. I mean, what’s so wrong with kids?

Grant: Oh, Ellie, look, they’re noisy, they’re messy, they’re expensive.

Sattler: Cheap… cheap…

Grant: They smell.

Sattler: They do not smell.

Grant: Some of them smell.

Sattler: Oh, give me a break!

Grant: Babies smell!


One comment on “Stuff I Like: Jurassic Park

  1. I present the only possible explanation of the T-rex sneaking that doesn’t involve NPC powers or a hole in spacetime:

    The T-rex did not sneak. She was taking a nap in the building, having previously learned that it provided shelter from the storm. Getting to her feet did not cause “boom boom”s because it wasn’t actually her weight coming down on them so much as her weight gradulally shifting from a smaller area to a larger one.

    Once she shook the sleep from her very large head she was pissed that the raptors had interrupted her nap. The can hunt humans all they want as far as she’s concerned, but not during nap time.

    Yes, it is a crappy explanation. How would you explain it?

    Here’s what I don’t get: Why didn’t they add in “boom boom”s when they decided to add the T-Rex to that scene. For a lot of people they wouldn’t even be noticed because so much focus was on the raptors, for those who did notice it would add to the suspense with a sense of, “Even if they deal with the raptors something bigger is coming.”

    Indeed it’s only because they didn’t deal with the raptors that the T-rex herself wasn’t a problem.

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